For all of the formulas and words of advice and techniques and tips and artifice that have been published on good relationships, these are the 4 most basic and by far the most important.

1. You

2. The other person

3. Knowledge

4. Understanding

A good relationship, like almost anything, else is the result of dedication, practice, and desire and these are the 4 things to which you must diligently apply your dedication, practice, and desire.

Sometimes I’m surprised at how easily these 4 things are overlooked when people begin to take a hard look at relationships with an eye toward improving them. Without you and the other person in the first place there is no relationship.

I find when I’m working with people that this is really difficult for them to grasp. There is a “you” and it makes up a lot of the relationship. And that “you” is very complex, very subtle, with considerable nuance and – to put it bluntly – very picky. There’s also the “other person” who is just as complex, subtle, nuanced, and certainly, in their own way, every bit as picky as you.

Most people invest very little time, energy or thought into really considering or thinking about themselves or other people “in a relationship”. Think about that for a moment. There is a difference between being in a game and being in a relationship. There is a difference between being in a job and being in a relationship. In both of those cases, what usually matters (at least as far as most people are concerned) are the specific skills. Either you can hit the ball or not. Either you can sell cars or not.

In a relationship what matters is your ability to engage the other person successfully. But that’s no easy task. Here’s a little bit of knowledge for you. There’s an old saying that in any relationship there are six people. The me that I am, the me that I think I am, and the me that you think I am. Then there’s the you that you are, the you that you think you are, and the you that I think you are. Pretty crowded huh?

Again, I ask you to stop and think for a moment. Have you personally given any thought to looking at yourself that way? Your actual being in the world is somewhat different from the way others think you are. You can pretty easily verify this just by polling people who know you. You won’t get the same description from everybody. Everybody will have a somewhat different take on you. Have you really thought about what this means?

Now, ponder for a moment that the same is true for the other person. If you both can recognize this fundamental truth about yourselves and each other you will have taken a big step toward creating a lot more space in your relationship for each other.

If you can sit together and talk about these different selves in a conversational manner in which you are genuinely curious about yourselves, that very act can provide you both with knowledge about you and the other person that can significantly improve your relationship.

If you can let go enough of your own selves enough to listen to the what the other person says there is the possibility of understanding. So very often when the other person is talking instead of listening we are talking inside ourselves. Planning our response. That’s not listening.

When you can “hear” the knowledge that another person shares with you that’s the most important opportunity you will ever have to understand them. And when you understand another person that’s when you will have the most powerful opportunity to accept them. Or not.

This is what relationships are about. Knowing and understanding yourself, the other person, and the relationship in which you are engaged. Whether you accept the person or not, whether you like the other person or not, these are both kind of irrelevant. If you do, well that’s fine as the relationship will be more pleasant but those aren’t necessary to having a relationship nor are they necessary to improving a relationship.

You, the other person, knowledge, and understanding; these are the basic fundamentals of any relationship. If you take away any one of those there will no longer be a relationship.

In the arena of understanding relationships as I’ve described here Human Design is one of the most powerful tools available because it provides an objective and detailed foundation for understanding things about yourself and another person that we generally don’t think about at all.

I was serving the national and was only back yesterday. During the service, I discover a very important key in relating to creating Happiness.

For the past few days, my friends and I had a good time catching up. I am always Happy to see them still good and healthy and living well. We get to talk about the good old times about us getting punishments and those hard times enduring though the trainings. These are the memories we shared together and in the process we found ourselves laughing or smiling away when talking about them together. We all feel HAPPY when we are together.

The key is having good relationship with friends and family members. Building a good relationship is a must in order to be Happy, but how can we really build relationship with our friends and family members? Caring for them is one of the ways. Show true care and concern to them and they will be grateful to you. Then, you be happy as well.

However, the choice of friends is a major factor in influencing your way of thinking and hence, it affects your Happiness. Finding yourself in a group of optimistic friends will make you optimistic as well and therefore, it is easier for you to be Happy as you do not worry much. So, it is also important to have the right friends. Unfortunately, we can’t choose our family members so we learn to love them. By doing so, we will have a great feeling.

So starting building a strong and good relationship with your friends and also love your family and friends. Happiness will follow you.

Women are an essential part of our life. No man can live without a woman. She is as important as the air you breathe. All the men out there will agree to it unless you’ve had a very bad experience. The fault could have been yours. So here are some tips for the men to keep the woman they love happy and have a successful relationship.

When we talk about women we also talk about beauty. They are synonyms. To make a woman feel good always remind her that she is beautiful. Each and every woman loves to hear that. Always make it a point to tell your love that she looks beautiful. If you are not into the habit of making such remarks then learn to make it. It will enhance her beauty, make her feel more beautiful. She will know that you love her. After all, men love beautiful women.

Learn to compliment your wife for her different skills. If she is a good cook then make sure to constantly appreciate the food cooked by her. Praise her for the special dishes she cooks for you and tell her that nobody can make the dish as good and delicious as her. It will make her happy and learn more about cooking. If she is an artist, a dancer, a writer or a very influencing person whatever the quality, just appreciate and compliment her on that. Make it a point to praise her when you both are with friends and relatives. It will only make her feel very close to you. “I love you”, “I care for you”, “I cannot live without you” are not just words spoken to your lover but words that make a difference. Constantly remind you mate that you care for her and how much she means to you. Never feel shy to portray your feelings. If you love your wife say it, she will love you even more. Such reminders are a relationship booster. They strengthen the relationship.

Good lovers are first and foremost best friends. Let the woman in your life know that she your best friend. Share your feelings and problems like a friend to her and find her always by your side like a true friend. Any woman would like to be in friendly terms with the husband. Women like their husbands to be their friends to whom they can open up. The friendship between a man and woman helps them to have a transparent relationship and solve their problems immediately without hiding anything.

Affection showed in front of friends and relatives assures a woman that you honestly love her. She knows that you love her; otherwise you would not have showed it in public. A woman feels very secure when her man does not feel shy to show his affection for her in front of friends as she knows that all the women out there are watching. There is a kind of possessiveness in such action and possessiveness is an indication of love. She is aware that you love her.

Sexy is the word that gets excitement in a relationship. Tell your woman, she is sexy and she will always make it a point to be the sexiest looking. You are going to love that for sure and she will enjoy it. If your find your mate to be sexy then she knows that you are still attracted towards her.

In the best-selling book of all times, a visionary leader advised: “Love your neighbor as you love yourself.” Lots of people know this ancient scripture contained in the Bible, but a few actually understand it or apply it correctly to their lives.

So many people have bought the Bible, tried to apply its teaching and still don’t get this. The above quote is to be the second most important commandment given by Jesus, the visionary leader. He asked us to love others. And in the same declaration he commanded us to love ourselves. So my question to you is: “Are you in love with yourself? “, “Do you feel that you can stand up in front of your bathroom mirror and say to yourself “I love and honor who you are”?

Bottom line, in order for you to cultivate healthy relationships with others, you must have a good relationship with yourself. You need to feel compassion for yourself.

Compassion means feeling empathy and having a true understanding of what you’re going through. You may have compassion for others but do you have compassion for yourself? If you don’t have compassion for yourself you may also find that you don’t have compassion for others.

Compassion includes 3 keys - understanding, acceptance and forgiveness.
These 3 qualities or states of mind can be applied to your life under any circumstances.

Follow this NLP process and the next 5 steps to continue loving yourself even more.

1. Think of a specific situation that makes you feel poor about yourself. How many details can you remember? Was there someone with you at that moment? Were you alone, reflecting?

2. Understand. Whether it is an understanding of something important about yourself or someone else, true understanding gives you a fresh new perspective. Try to put yourself in the position of the other person. If it only involves yourself, step back and reflect on your thinking. Ask yourself if your judgment is accurate. See things from different perspectives.

3. Acceptance. Acceptance is simply an acknowledgement, without making any judgment. Acceptance asks us to accept without approving or disapproving. To truly accept you need to set aside any preconceived notions, ideas or concepts and simply accept. Make as if you were an alien that doesn’t know anything about this planet and how humans work. Just accept without judging. I give you permission just for this exercise. After that you can make a judgment if you want. Do we have a deal?

4. Forgiveness. Forgiveness flows naturally from understanding and acceptance. Without understanding and acceptance it is hard to forgive. Forgiveness will allow you to move forward in your life without dwelling on a misunderstanding or mistake.

5. Smile. Smiling releases tension. Smiling is a medicine by itself. Smile and continue smiling knowing that this is another way to continue loving yourself.

This NLP process will help you to feel more love for yourself. After esteeming yourself, the next step is to love yourself, unconditionally.

Did you know that in order for you to cultivate healthy relationships with others, you need to have a good relationship with yourself. Follow this NLP process and the next 5 steps to continue loving yourself even more. Attract and create breathtaking success now.

There is no denying the fact that men and women are equally important in a relationship. One cannot exist without the other. And to keep a relationship long lasting both have to make an effort to make each other feel good in a relationship.

Here’s a piece of advice for all you women folk out there who want to make their men Happy! All of us definitely like it when our partner flirts with us, and the man in our relationship just loves it. So all you women make sure you flirt around with your mate especially in public places where he knows that it’s him and only him you love.

Do not be a miser. Lavish him with compliments. Always compliment him when he is dressed smartly. Compliment him when he does something for you. Tell him that you really like the qualities in him, the quality of caring, of being thoughtful and appreciating you. Compliment him on his cute smile and you will find him smiling again. It will make you smile too. Such compliments will constantly remind him that you are still attracted towards him and love him. It is an equal equation, he will love you too. When your partner knows you love him he will be secure and his love for you will not diminish.

Make your husband realize how handsome he is and you find him to be the most handsome man among all the men you know. Any man would love to hear that from his sweetheart. Tell him that his looks appeal to you and you will find him very sexy. He will feel happy and know that you appreciate and love him. There is a kind of magnetism in such compliments that get you close to each other. You like to be in the company of people who love and appreciate you rather than those who disapprove of your looks, style and so many other things. When you make it a point to compliment your man he will definitely want to spend most of the time with you. Think for yourself, would not you like to be with the person who admires you?

Be Jealous! Even if you are not, at times you should make your man feel that you get jealous when he is taking to other females and ignoring you. This feeling of a partner just shows that you love him extremely and want him to love you and only you. Any man will love his woman being jealous. If you are jealous it obviously means that you love your man dearly and do not want a third person in your relationship. It is an indication to him that you love him.

Make yourself always look beautiful. Dress up for him, just because you love him. Any man would like his woman to look good. So make sure you dress up well and groom yourself regularly. Make yourself feel good it’s then that you will make your partner feel good. But it is also very true that you have to be beautiful from within and it’s only then your real beauty is adorned.

Most important of all make your partner aware of the fact that he is the best husband, a true lover and a very good father if you have young one. It will boost him up. He will know that his effort in fulfilling his responsibilities are being realized and appreciated. There is a kind of deep attachment when you are appreciated and loved for your efforts.

Relationship marketing is a very important component in the affiliate marketing business. When you are doing the business, there will be 2 different type of relationship. The 1st type is the relationship with the merchant and the 2nd type is the relationship with your subscriber. Why is having a good relationship with your merchant and subscriber so important to your business?

The 1st type of relationship that you will form with is your merchant. This is very important if you plan to do this business long term. If you have been using the correct business model and you are seeing some success, your merchant will take notice of you when he realizes that you have been bring him consistent sales.

This will be a good chance for you to further the relationship with the merchant. When you have a good relationship with him, there will be times when you can ask him to help you. You can ask for higher commissions, give you the whole product so that you can do detailed product review or even a joint venture deal with the merchant.

The 2nd type of relationship that you will form with is your subscriber. You will have to take note that when people buy products online; they buy because they trust the seller. Trust is a very important factor in the affiliate marketing business. It is thus very important for you to build trust with your subscribers.

When you have made the effort to build a good relationship with the subscriber, your subscriber will soon treat you as someone who is credible and sincere in helping them. This will definitely helps to increase your sales because whenever you try to promote a product to them, they will know that it is a quality product. Do not make the mistake of promoting a lousy product just because you want to make quick cash.

In conclusion, we can see that having a good relationship with both the merchant and subscribers is so important for your affiliate marketing business success. Do not ever misuse this relationship as once you have done something that makes the relationship worsen, it will be very difficult to make it like it used to be. You should always remember that affiliate marketing business is all about building relationships.

Arguably, love is the most important, sort after, misplaced and trouble making experience of our lives. As if the soul of human beings is directed at love as a pre programmed target, and all else is simply distraction.

To love your work, your past, your future. Love might just be the soul purpose of life. Love is not holistic. To love something, anything it seems, might be enough. To love self or a Guru, might satiate the hunger. To love a dog or cat, friend or business, to love a sport or environment – maybe the love, real love of something is enough for the soul to feel purpose and therefore rest in the journey.

For me, the love of anything other than a person has rarely lasted. I love what I do, but deep down, there’s a part of me wanting to achieve something as a result of what I do, therefore it is not real love. I love going to Nepal and climbing up those magnificent Himalayan slopes, but, I feel that this is an addition to my life, therefore it’s not real love.

I have friends I love, deeply, they are wonderful. But their lives are not entwined with mine, therefore there is not the depth of provocation that causes me to feel vulnerable, as it seems my soul requires in order to feel satisfied, this love, I think, is not the Real love.

To further challenge my virtue in following the path of Real Love, soul purpose, I found the need to understand a sense of a God in my life. As a spiritual human being, I acknowledge the presence of a creator, the cause of creation. I struggle to put a name or face to this origin of everything. The whole universe comes from a beginning one can never know. From that first thought, like in our own lives, everything began. Who thought it? This is my idea of a creator.

That thought is real love. The original thought. And so, for me, God is love. Love was the first thought, and all that follows it, the creation and destruction of stars and moons and heavens and earths, came from, and exists in, that first thought. Then, maybe my soul purpose is to tune to that first thought? Because it was the first thought, then it exists in everything, everywhere. Maybe this, is the definition of the souls purpose, to see what already is.
When I fall in love with a person, I fall because it is new. It is like a new territory, unexplored universes, and I wish to find the love that is hidden in it. But we are distracted. Children, jobs, houses, health, money, careers, friends, family and more. We are distracted from love because these things are treated as separate from it.

People try to parent their children. Achieve in their jobs, own their houses, improve their health, increase their money, succeed in their careers, help their friends, and collude with their family. Such ambitions it seems are normal, but for me, such drivers, lack the love my soul aspires to.

Love is the synthesis of all emotion

To love a child is beyond prescription, but to avoid an emotion with that child is to avoid love. Parents who are afraid to be strong, or soft, of challenge or support. Cannot love, can only placate a child, manipulate and control by non confrontation.

To love a job is to explore challenge, to face the reward and hardship with equal enthusiasm. This seems, for many people, to be the one area of life they are unafraid of, primarily because they are free to be aggressive in this one area of life, tough on themselves to live out their hypnotized expectation of life.

To love a home is a substitute for an understanding and trust of anything bigger than self. The ego thrives in a home that is loved. Self obsession reaches its pinnacle if the home one lives in is a proud and designed environment. Here an individual feels they, and their universe are one. Deluded in an avoidance of their real fear.

Money is essential, the love of money is vital. Obsession and possession with holding, building and creating wealth is the fastest and strongest path to the avoidance of love. For the broken heart, the fearful mind, the belittled spirit, an obsession with collection and protection of money is the antidote to lovelessness.

Small is good. A healthy humility is a rich asset in this grand universe. We are nothing, and it is wise to know it. But is a healthy mind, small is wonderful, because small means we are a part of something huge, and that hugeness is the magnificence of that first thought, the whole of creation, the magnificence of a love beyond. But for most people their smallness is not humility, it is shame and irrelevance. Then they cling to careers that kill them, families that need them. This cave is a shelter from the vulnerability a belittled spirit feels. When a person looses their place in a loving universe, they create a substitute, and this substitute is attachment in which pride, need and safety are at the core. This is not love.

Like a child in a kindergarten, we play with toys. We play innocently thinking that our games are real and like a child in kindergarten, we eventually become bored with the games, we need bigger toys, faster swings, more challenging puzzles. We automatically grow out of our shoes, and we automatically grow out of our obsessions. Soul seeks love and cannot remain inside a body that substitutes.

Take human hardship. Take the purpose of soul. Understand the keys of Soul love – real love and our innate desire for it. Like a tree searches for the sun, we too have a life giving quest. That quest is not satiated in anything earthly, it is only guided to grow through them.

Love is not another possession. One finds it for someone, something and one grows and adapts and becomes used to it. The profound becomes the mundane. Therefore in the purpose of the soul, a relationship holds no key other than an initial witnessing of a new possibility and the removal of a distraction. The quest – the quest of the soul, will not be satiated within a job, a career, a family, a relationship, a bank account or anything we can build or own.

True happiness, true love comes from the journey, the ongoing quest to witness the beauty of creation. To see beauty in family, money, relationship, career, home is to deconstruct it and in doing so, reveal that first thought of creation within it. That deconstruction is not a moral or ethical one, those are human laws. The deconstruction and the purpose of the soul is to witness the universal laws in all, everything, and therefore evolve, through real life, to real love. Everyday, every hour, another step on the path to the purpose of the soul. It simply wants to go home, from whence it came, home to the thought that created it, through love.

To the body – mind there is pain and pleasure, and mine and yours, life and death. But to the soul, no such boundaries exist. It only knows its purpose, though life after life, body after body, all it knows, is that it is away, uncomfortable – it wants to go home, to its creator, home to love.

Now, you may understand a little more, why relationships feel so good at first, but might not feel so good at last. When your soul feels love, that falling in love it feels home. But this is not home. This is an earthly reminder of where home really is. And before it reaches that home a million billion such reminders will be required. They, like moments of sunlight nourish, guide and direct its growth, going home, from whence it came. To that first thought, to love.

Live with Spirit

Chris Walker